EXAMPLES (from HatDate.com User Profiles)
Why do you love hats? They make me look more human.
I know what you are thinking. Where is his hat? It is true; I do not always wear a hat, but I have worn hats and will wear a hat if you would like me to. Ever since the girl I saved from certain death in my mystical home world left me a few weeks ago I have been having a hard time and need someone to help me adjust to your world. If you are that someone, please message me. I love cuddling and promise that I am definitely safe – my favorite food is broccoli.(Full post, not including the multiple links to relevant articles on the actual blog)
THE PORCINE REBELLION
WE ARE ALL GOING TO GET PORKED
The other morning a smartly dressed pig was running around on 376 in Pittsburgh, disrupting traffic for a half hour before evading the police. My investigative sense started tingling and what I’ve discovered is going to shock you. There is a doomsday scenario coming, but it’s not the zombies society has made its’ new fetish, it’s the swine. I’m talking about pigs. Animal Farm is on the way people, and we need to start taking this seriously.
A teenager in Woodland, California has taken the initiative on one of our foes and done in a few of them. His fellow in arms, Frantz Aboubaker, did not have as much success in Broward, Florida. The porcine rebellion’s allies (the Police) tazed him into submission, but this isn’t their only cooperation (more on that later). These are heroes that need our support and aid, not the scorn generated by the media. With the recent rash of pig escapes plaguing our nation and the world, we need to band together more now than ever before. Chileans are taking a hard line on the issue and we need to back them up on it. There’s more to this mystery.
The Chinese are working in tandem with the pigs. They keep a high security pig think tank and if that wasn’t proof enough, they’re making synthetic pig ears to be sold to their populace – part of a plan to create an entirely synthetic pig food market and keep their diminutive allies safe. The duplicity isn’t entirely across the Pacific either. Our own government is becoming more lax with the pig rebellion and the reasons are chilling. This is all about the Bay of Pigs. Now the true history of what occurred there, at this so conspicuously named locale, will never be revealed.
The evidence is everywhere people. Just open your eyes and look, you can’t miss it. Look a pig in the eye and tell me that you don’t see the flash of a killer’s instinct.